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Around Town


A humorous look at Saigon traffic

By Michael Smith in HCMC

Wednesday, November 17,2010,21:06 (GMT+7)

















A humorous look at Saigon traffic
By Michael Smith in HCMC
I was joking the other day that I only use my brain 10% of the time - only for the most important things. In Saigon that would mean I’d have to reserve my day’s quota of brain power to survive the mayhem on the roads on my motorbike. There’s no end to the miasma of bizarre driving acts that happen out there, but I’ve tried to jot down a few of the common ones that test my reflexes and emotions.

The Vertical Merge: This is my favorite, but it horrified me when I first caught a xe om in Saigon. Instead of waiting for a gap to turn left (and lets face it – there aren’t any gaps) you just head straight at the swathe of oncoming traffic, veering slightly for the center line.

The Moving Gap: This is a roundabout maneuver that I can do slowly with some aplomb, but I have seen some maniacs and a few straight-backed Vespa- Zen girls do it at top speed without even blinking. Roundabouts present streams of traffic going at different angles, some at right angles to ourselves. To get through you have to judge the moving gap precisely. Most riders take it easy, but when you see someone do it at top speed, it’s quite impressive.

The Shepherd: Turning left at traffic lights when the oncoming motorbikes are 20 thick and 200 deep, somebody has to lead the way across. This takes some courage or stupidity as you must trust that the motorist heading at you knows that you’re coming. As soon as the leader breaks the stream of traffic, motorbikes follow in his shadow and he shepherds them across.

The “Daddy Doesn’t Know Where his Little Girl is”: The young truant with a tight fitting cowboy shirt embroidered with a skull on the back has his teenage girlfriend in red denim shorts clinging tightly around his waist, with her head on his shoulder screaming joyfully in his ear. He does the “Saigon Racer Wobble” to signal to everybody that he is going to throw himself recklessly into the wrong lane to pass.

The “I Guess You Think This is my Fault”: It normally happens near service stations on busy roads. After filling up their motorbikes people can’t be bothered doing the “Vertical Merge” so they just head up the wrong side of the road beside the curb. That’s all fine until you surprise them by coming round the next corner doing the “Blind Right” and run headfirst into them.

The Blind Right: Turning right in Saigon is a breeze, you don’t have to look. Just turn right, go as wide as you like and it’s up to anyone who is coming, to go around you.

The Double Squeeze: You are riding along ready for almost anything, but a pushcart slowly comes out on your right, pushing you towards the center line. At the same time a masked woman scooterist heads blindly out of a street on the left narrowing the gap in the center of the road like a closing elevator door.

Those are just a few but remember - with Saigon traffic the key is never to take your life or limbs for granted. It’s a jungle on the roads, and if you know the moves you can avoid an accident. It’s a type of meditation with a mantra made from swear words – totally in the moment. It brings you closer to God.

Give Thanks In All Things

Erie Weather after the storm

Visit with Loan

My Day with Loan

On Friday I got a facebook message from my friend, Loan., asking if I was free for coffee.  She and I met back in August through some friends in Hermosa Beach. The best part is she speaks good English.  She is a social worker here and I get to go with her off and on to make some visits to friends.  She took me to a cafe at a water park not far from our apt.  It had a nice cafe and a beautiful garden and best of all a menu in English.  Those are rare finds here outside of the tourist district.  This young gal is one of the busiest people I know.  She has several jobs besides being a social worker but from what she has told me the social worker job is the one that she loves the most and also causes her the most concern.  She mainly works with young children and young pregnant gals.  One of the stories she was telling me was about a gal that she met who was dying of Aids.  She was about Loan's age, 30 and was wanting to know why she got the disease and others like Loan did not.  It proved to be a great time of sharing about the choices we all face in life and how those choices effect us.  She died a month ago.  Loan knows she cannot save the world but that does not make her job any easier.  We talked about her job and the issues she encounters and where she needs to place all of those burdens.  She knows the one who carries her and that others are supporting her.  I am grateful to be able to come along side of her and help her in any way I can.  After our cafe break we headed to the food court in a nearby mall and had a great Thai meal, both of our favorites.  Then we headed to visit a gal that I had met back in Sept who now has a two month old baby.  She is one chunky healthy baby. I got my baby fix in for the month.  As I spend more time with Loan I am getting more of an insight into how things are handled here.  Mark will be sharing more stories in our newsletter. 

Grab and Run

Well on Wednesday afternoon Mark and I were walking to a new Big C market that opened near our home.  We were about two blocks from the market going down a small alley type street when two young guys on a motorbike pulled in front of me and grabbed my purse.  I had a small clutch type purse with a strap that went over my head.  It happened so fast, the guy of the back of the bike grabbed the strap and pulled as the bike was speeding away. I went flying forward but the purse strap would not come off of me.  When Mark realized what they were doing he ran from behind me and yelled at them and tried to grab the guy but the motor bike was taking off.  When they realized that Mark almost had them and that the strap was not going to break they let go and I went flying, it felt like I was in a sling shot.  I landed on the road on the left side of my body.  Mark wanted to go back home but I told him I was ok, so we keep on going.  I was leary of every guy we passed on a motor bike.  While in the market I grabbed a bag of frozen peas to put on my now swelling elbow.  We made it back home without incident and I finally surveyed my bruised up body.  Not a pretty site.  I have the largest deep purple bruise under my right arm where the silly purse strap would not come off and some neck pain and leg pain from the sudden pulling and release movement.  The arm is no longer swollen but still tender and of course bruised.  We had been warned by friends that these things happen but I thought I was being careful not carrying my larger purse but from now on I will carry my money in my pocket and a purse only if going by taxi.  It could have been worse so I thank God for His protection.  I have been praying that these guys get a good dose of remorse and that God sends someone to lead them to salvation before they end up killing someone. 

One day later our friend called to say the same thing happened to he and his girlfriend who is still recovering from her last run in with someone trying to take her bag.  His bag is always locked onto his motorbike and so they could not get it but the bike fell over and he hurt his arm in the same place I did.  We have matching bruises !!